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[by_candlelight]

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Ruby Nakamura

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Re: text;

[by_candlelight]

Here's hoping summer is less of a mess.

Not yet, but so far the agreement across the board is that it's not the material. And it's not anxiety over doing poorly. But aside from that we're still trying to find ways to test things without possibly causing damage. Their worry, not mine. I mean, how much damage could be caused by this? It's math.

text;

[bifroster]

I'll even take the next week.

Well, you do need to remember that even though it's something small, it is causing damage. Phobias, or whatever it is, work like that. I'm deathly afraid of spiders. Why? No clue. I just am. It's only because it's a common fear that people consider it "normal".

Re: text;

[by_candlelight]

I'll take whatever I we can get, but I won't deny I'll want more.

The damage is to my ability to preform, not to me personally. I don't really see much of a change in my nightmares, so it's not even impacting my sleep. It's just a brick wall in the middle of the road that we're trying to build around.

text;

[bifroster]

That is a way to think about it. Once you get through schooling, this might not even be a problem later on in your life.

Re: text;

[by_candlelight]

I sure as hell hope so. It's a real pain in the ass to have such a weird problem that shouldn't even be an issue. It would be even worse if it actually stopped me from goals that are more important than 'get as many max grades as possible'.

text;

[bifroster]

Yeah, but you can work through them! It's gonna take some time and not be easy, but if others can overcome their fears, so can you.

Re: text;

[by_candlelight]

Normally when I'm afraid of something I just put myself in a position where I'm forced to deal with it over and over. I've only had one other fear I can't seem to cure with that method.

text; thank you for your patience!

[bifroster]

Oh yeah, I heard about that. Desensitization? What is the other fear? If you don’t mind me asking.

Re: text; I should be saying that to you! I've been braindead most of this month X'D

[by_candlelight]

Maybe? I didn't really know it had a name. I just usually face my fears until I can't feel afraid of them anymore. It worked for basically everything in my life.

Uh, don't tell anyone, but, suffocation. Especially things like being caught underground, or the idea of being exposed to the vacuum of space.

haha same here

[bifroster]

Oh. Oh man, I feel the last one. But your secret is safe with me. I wouldn't dream of telling anyone.

Brain dead fistbump!

[by_candlelight]

Thanks. I normally wouldn't tell anyone, but, well, if you wanted to use my fears against me you already have enough ammunition to use against me that it really wouldn't be all that much more to tell you this. Not that you've given me any indication that you would, it's just that I'm typically proactive in just not letting information like that slip if I can help it.

Re: Brain dead fistbump!

[bifroster]

Oh, no, I get it. It might not be the kind of information that is typically "classified", but the justifications for it are the same.

[by_candlelight]

I'm glad you do. A lot of people seem to be insulted by such things. 'I would never do that!' they say, not realising that it's not about whether they would do something so much as whether they could do something. Don't give someone sensitive information and they don't have the option to betray your trust. But if you don't give them certain types of sensitive information they get upset. I really don't understand it.

[bifroster]

It's complicated, is all I can say. I just know that secrets are a thing and there are a lot of reasons to keep them. Sometimes it's not about you. Sometimes it is. Sometimes it's because of a bigger issue. But no one has a right to them, except those who own them.

Though when you throw in politics, world security ... then it becomes really complicated and god, that is a mess.

[by_candlelight]

I'm glad. Both that you're a reasonable person, and that I don't have any secrets that are related to politics or world security, because even just normal secrets are messy!

[bifroster]

Oh, yeah. Personal secrets are the worst. At least with government secrets, you know there is going to be trouble. Personal secrets, you got a fifty-fifty shot.